Compassion, Community And Combatting Loneliness with Rachel Clar

Compassion, Community And Combatting Loneliness with Rachel Clar

Millions of people around the globe, grapple with loneliness- especially this time of year. We feel it at home and we feel it at work. Loneliness in the workplace is even more pronounced for high achieving women. My guest, Rachel Clar, Founder and CEO of Interconnected Us, is doing something about it.

This week, Rachel reflects on sisterhood, bravery, the power of self talk, and she reminds us about the life changing power of human connection and supportive communities.

Connect with Rachel Clar. Visit her website.

No Is A Full Sentence: How To Reduce Your Holiday Stress By Saying Yes, Less

No Is A Full Sentence: How To Reduce Your Holiday Stress By Saying Yes, Less

This week, we’re kicking off the 2023 mindful holiday series, because, Lord knows, we all need a little extra love, sanity, and support this time of year!

In this episode, we’ll dig into our pre-conditioned urge to say ‘yes.’ I’ll share simple, mindfulness micro-coaching practices that will help you reset and resist it.

And, I’ll connect you with why saying ‘no’ may be the very best gift you can give yourself when it comes to reducing your holiday stress this holiday season.

Finding Peace In The Midst Of Media Overload

Finding Peace In The Midst Of Media Overload

The world feels scary, overwhelming, and uncertain as heck right now. The last few weeks have been a ringer. Many of us are feeling saturated by media overload. It’s wreaking havoc on our bodies and minds.

I’m here to share good news: You have the power to control how you feel on the inside, no matter what’s happening on the outside. 

In this episode, you’ll learn about the impact digital media is having on your mental and emotional health. I’ll share mind blowing, eye opening, holy shit level stats from Statista about how much time we’re engaging with digital and social media.

I’ll turn you onto some of the ways screen time is affecting your brain, by sharing nuggets of wisdom from Dr. Victoria Dunkley that were published in a SUNY Potsdam article.

And of course, I’ll introduce you to my analogy of “Cactus and Blanket” to help you understand the miraculous worker bee known as your nervous system. I will connect you with the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems so you can understand how these systems are controlling the way you think, feel, and experience your life and help you understand how mindfulness can improve your quality of life.

Tune in, subscribe, and share. ❤️

The Identity Trap

The Identity Trap

I say poo-poo to the saying, “Change is the only constant.” I think of ‘constants’ as fundamental internal descriptors of who we are on an individual level. They are the steadfast elements that represent our authenticity, our truest identity, and a heap of opportunity, especially when we’re facing a significant life change.

Many of the women who come to me for life coaching are searching to discover their identity after navigating a significant change in their lives. They want to know: Who am I after leaving a career that almost killed me? Who am I after my kids have left the nest and gone to college? Who am I after my divorce or breakup? Who am I after the death of my parents or my partner? Who am I after retiring as a professional woman with a title? Who am I after menopause?

In the years leading up to ‘after,’ the women I coach formed identities and those identities became their truths. They were mothers and wives. They had responsibility and titles. They were children caring for aging parents. They were younger and sexier than they feel now. The identities they assumed defined their worth and dictated the way they lived their lives.

And I totally get it. Change can be tough. When I left my corporate career, I had to reframe my identity. When my son left for college, I had to reframe my identity. When my Dad died, I had to reframe my identity. There are no short cuts but mindfulness, courage, and curiosity helped me create a path of discovery that led me back to my true self.

Identity (/īˈden(t)ədē/): “the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.”

Here’s what I want you to know. Sure, identities can give you a way to understand yourself, but, they can also become straitjacket like labels that keep you bound and separated from who you authentically- are at a fundamental level. External identity labels only tell a small slice of your whole story. And if you put too much stock in that small slice, it’s super easy to find yourself stuck in the past, missing the present, and getting lost, when the identity you’ve assumed no longer exists. Here’s one example.

One of my clients struggled with her identity after her husband of 30 years died. Her identity of ‘wife’ no longer existed. This rocked her world. In being his wife, she’d forgotten who she was outside of that identity- who she authentically was as a woman. As she worked through her grief of losing him, she got blindsided because she found herself working through the grief of losing the primary identity she’d assumed, as his wife.

The first question I asked her was, “Who were you before you were married?” She had a hard time remembering so, we got grounded in a short meditation and switched gears. A bit later in our conversation she said, “I’ve always been an artist. I’ve always loved animals. I’ve always been a traveler. I’ve always loved to sing.” As she said the words, she smiled as tears ran down her face. That one realization re-connected her what I call her ‘constants’-  a part of herself that was core to who she was authentically-the woman she’d always known and been. Her awareness opened her mindset and gave her a new way to identify with herself. It gave her an opportunity to become something aside from a widow and a way to step into her life after losing her husband.

And you have ‘constants.’ These are the parts of yourself that are fundamental to who you are. The qualities, interests, talents, and gifts, that are always part of you, no matter what stage of life you’re navigating. Mindfulness based life coaching empowers you to connect with your constants. It gives you the freedom to tell your whole story and live a multi dimensional life. Your constants can create possibilities by giving you multiple ways to identify with yourself, independent of fleeting external factors like your work, marital status, sex drive, or age. So, if you’re asking yourself, “Who will I be after…?” you can kick off your journey of self discovery by asking yourself these three questions: Who was I before? Who have I always been? Who do I want to be now? 

If you’d like life-coaching support for your ‘after’ story, send me a note. Let’s grab some time to talk.

What Deepak Chopra Taught Me About Stress, Seven Pillars And Our Power To Thrive

What Deepak Chopra Taught Me About Stress, Seven Pillars And Our Power To Thrive

I’d been waiting for years to hear Dr. Deepak Chopra speak live and in person. I finally had my day in the sun in March of 2023. As I sat on the edge of my seat listening to every wise word he spoke, the decades of my deep study, practice and work crystallized in way that blew my mind. Optimism and purpose washed over me as Dr. Chopra shared the latest medical science proving the correlation between stress, disease and the power we hold to be well. I scanned the few hundred faces in the packed auditorium and thought to myself, “Everyone on the planet needs to know this.”

Dr. Chopra shared that stress is the #1 health epidemic we’re facing today. He described it as “resistance to existence.” His lecture, entitled “The Future of Wellbeing” focused on the science of the mind-body-consciousness connection, the power we hold to be well and these (7) pillars that are critical in combatting stress to optimize our overall well being: 

  1. Sleep
  2. Meditation/Stress Management
  3. Movement/yoga/pranayama
  4. Emotional regulation
  5. Nourishment
  6. Bio rhythms/grounding 
  7. Self awareness and self realization

Dr. Chopra discussed the latest science that supports why each of these pillars have a positive impact. It was empowering to learn that less than 5% of the chronic illnesses we suffer from are genetically determined and 95% are influenced by epigenetics. We have the power to positively impact the other 95%.

I picked up on two overarching common denominators across the (7) pillars:

  1. Each pillar improves health by lowering stress that causes inflammation and disease.
  2. Anyone can choose to make these pillars part of their lives, if they have the information.

Dr. Chopra talked about the link between choice, awareness, self realization and ‘flow’, a state we experience when our nervous system is finely tuned. As he did, the critical role that mindfulness plays in overall wellbeing was underscored. I read through my notes and reflected on his words into the wee hours of that night. I woke up understanding that my mission as a mindfulness coach had never been so clear or validated. I grabbed my journal and jotted down these three truths:

  • When we have knowledge, understanding and awareness we have the power to choose. I help people develop awareness through knowledge and practice that empowers them with choice.
  • Stress overtakes us if we allow it. I empower courageous people to reset from stress, tune into their potential and thrive.
  • The connection between body, mind and consciousness is ours to optimize and activate. By making that choice, we have the power to control how well we are and how well we live. My work helps people optimize their mind-body-consciousness connection.

Four months later, all of the scientific data points he shared are still here, at the forefront of my mind. Dr. Chopra’s lecture was a bucket list item for me. I am changed by what he shared. I am emboldened by the power we hold to be well and thrive. I am optimistic as I think about the profound capacity awareness and choice hold to change our health and the way we experience our lives.

*If you’re ready to step into your power and change your life, let’s talk.