How To Live Your Purpose: Mystery Solved

How To Live Your Purpose: Mystery Solved



SPEAKER_1: You’re listening to She Grabs The Mic, and I’m your host, Cole Baker-Bagwell. SPEAKER_1: Every week, we’ll explore what it means to be happy, present, and whole.

SPEAKER_1: You’ll hear from courageous women who are kicking ass in their lives, and leave with actionable tips that you can apply to reset from toxicity, tune into your gold, and live powerfully from the bedroom to the boardroom.

SPEAKER_1: Right now, it’s time to grab your headphones, kick back and relax, and get ready to be inspired.

SPEAKER_1: Welcome, amazing ones.
SPEAKER_1: Oh my gosh, I am so glad that you’re here.

SPEAKER_1: Because you have chosen to meet this slice of your day with curiosity, you are sparking growth in yourself and creating a beautiful chain reaction that will have an exponentially positive impact on your life, your mind, and every single person that you share life with.

SPEAKER_1: And that is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_1: Now this week, we’re talking about purpose, a quest that billions of us spend a lifetime chasing in an effort to understand and fulfill.

SPEAKER_1: And I’m gonna shake things up a little bit.
SPEAKER_1: I’m going to offer you a new way of thinking about this existential question of purpose.

SPEAKER_1: I’m going to share my thoughts on the relationship between purpose, success, and authenticity by breaking down these words and inviting you to look at them through a mindful lens with me.

SPEAKER_1: And I’m going to offer you three questions that will help you shift your mindset and get out of the swirl of striving to understand your purpose so that you can simply start living it.

SPEAKER_1: But first, I want to tell you a story.

SPEAKER_1: This week, I am celebrating my 55th Revolution Around the Sun, and it is a fabulous, fabulous thing and such a trip.

SPEAKER_1: I’m not sure that I ever imagined myself with the double fives, but they’re fitting pretty nicely, and I feel absolutely fantastic.

SPEAKER_1: And for those of you who are worried about the 50s Club, let me tell you this, it is freaking fabulous!

SPEAKER_1: And for those of you who have been here and are on the other side, you know exactly what I mean.

SPEAKER_1: This birthday feels like kind of a big one for me.
SPEAKER_1: And as I’ve led up to it, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my life up until now.

SPEAKER_1: The qualities, interests, and outlooks that have always been most true for me, along with the ones that have gotten me off track.

SPEAKER_1: And I’ve thought about why that was.
SPEAKER_1: I thought about how I’m living, and I’ve thought about my purpose.

SPEAKER_1: I’ve spent the last several months meditating, journaling, and reflecting on this word, diving really super deep to understand how the narratives I adopted and how my own long-held definitions of success influenced my own personal quest for purpose.

SPEAKER_1: And I’ve also thought about all of the ways I’ve tried to live into those narratives and into that definition of success across my life, and what I’ve realized is this.

SPEAKER_1: My purpose in life is simply to live as the most authentic version of myself because no one else can do that, and that is also true for you.

SPEAKER_1: When I realized this simple truth, I felt this kind of freedom, this contentment, this joy that I had not experienced since I was a child.

SPEAKER_1: And then that realization ignited a deeper discovery that led me to challenge my own mindset and all of those narratives that had been running in the foreground of my life for more years than I could count.

SPEAKER_1: Now, as I went through my own process, I thought about the women that I know, love, and coach, and just how many of them talk with me about searching for their purpose.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, my God, it’s something that’s weighing so heavily on their hearts and on their minds, and maybe you are experiencing that too.

SPEAKER_1: And if you are, here’s the deal.

SPEAKER_1: We have an opportunity to shift our mindset any second that we choose it, and in this case, we can shift it about purpose.

SPEAKER_1: And by making that shift, we are saying yes to more joy, yes to more optimism, yes to more contentment, yes to more presence, and oh my God, yes to more peace.

SPEAKER_1: So many of us stay in cycles of doing more, being more, achieving more, amassing more.

SPEAKER_1: We spend a lifetime chasing and fulfilling this hyperinflated oh my God pie in the sky notion of purpose rather than realizing our only true purpose is to simply be ourselves, to enjoy and honor the gift of being alive right now and to know that by doing that, we are living our actual purpose.

SPEAKER_1: And all of that led me to wonder, what could we make space for if we cut ourselves some slack, gave ourselves a break from striving in search of some elusive definition or answer that does not exist?

SPEAKER_1: Did you know that the number of Google searches for life purpose hover around three billion every single day?

SPEAKER_1: And the question, what is the meaning of life, is one of the top three existential searches in Google.

SPEAKER_1: I’m not kidding about it.
SPEAKER_1: Go check it out after the episode.
SPEAKER_1: We are struggling, amazing ones, and I think this is especially true for women.

SPEAKER_1: So many of us spend decades, even lifetimes, working, questioning ourselves, wondering who we are, why we’re here, what’s our purpose, and this is especially challenging as our perception of purpose changes.

SPEAKER_1: Like when our kids grow up and leave home, when we shift careers, when we retire, when we believe purpose is something external to us, these things throw us for a freaking loop because the purpose we used to serve no longer exists, and then we have to start all over.

SPEAKER_1: But here’s the thing that’s important to remember.

SPEAKER_1: The answer that we are looking for, it’s not outside of ourselves.

SPEAKER_1: It doesn’t belong to someone else.

SPEAKER_1: The answer that we are looking for is inside of us.

SPEAKER_1: Our very nature is purposeful.

SPEAKER_1: Look at any young child, and you will see what I mean.

SPEAKER_1: They live authentically as themselves in the moment, being the only person that they know how to be.

SPEAKER_1: They don’t worry about the past or what might come next.

SPEAKER_1: They wear mismatched socks and pajamas to school, and they wear them proudly because they like them.

SPEAKER_1: They wake up excited for no particular reason.

SPEAKER_1: They have no designs about what they need to contribute to the world or what they will contribute to the world.

SPEAKER_1: And you know what? SPEAKER_1: They sleep really soundly at night.

SPEAKER_1: They dream boldly, and they find beauty and wonder in small things that so many of us are missing right now every single day because we are caught in the swirl of striving for something greater.

SPEAKER_1: Now, if you ask a young child, who are you?
SPEAKER_1: They’ll likely tell you their name, nothing more.
SPEAKER_1: Their purpose is to simply live as themselves and enjoy the moment, enjoy the day.

SPEAKER_1: Now, somewhere along the line, I think we lose our sense of purpose because we forget who we uniquely are, and I think it happens gradually beginning around the first time someone tells us who we should be or who we need to be to be accepted, to be successful, and to live our purpose.

SPEAKER_1: I imagine it as this big golden ball of potential that gets slowly covered up by something that’s thick and crusty and solid like an acorn shell, and eventually it gets so thick and so tight around that beautiful ball of potential, that ball of authenticity, that we can’t even access it.

SPEAKER_1: Our quest for purpose has little to do with us and much more to do with the idea of success that we’ve been led to believe is true.

SPEAKER_1: We’re told we need to have a degree that will allow us to have a lucrative career, maybe as a doctor or a lawyer or as a leader or as an executive.

SPEAKER_1: We’re told we need to have a certain kind of house or car.

SPEAKER_1: We need to earn six figures, dress a certain way, and take vacations to places that are Instagram worthy that impress other people.

SPEAKER_1: Some of us feel the mortality clock ticking, so we engage in cycles of fear, stress, and worry that somehow right now we are not doing enough, we have not done enough to live our purpose.

SPEAKER_1: It is absolutely maddening, and we are spending so much of our lifetimes dedicated to this notion.

SPEAKER_1: These purpose narratives become dominant themes in our mindset and in our lives, and they dictate the choices that we make.

SPEAKER_1: And as we strive, we grow further away from that golden ball of authentic potential, from who we are and our true purpose, which is simply to live authentically as ourselves.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, my God, how much of your life are you striving to find or live your purpose?

SPEAKER_1: How often have you thought about it?

SPEAKER_1: And here’s a real mind-bender.

SPEAKER_1: If you had to state what your purpose is in one sentence, what would you say?

SPEAKER_1: Now let’s look at two definitions with a big-time fan base that keep us in the striving cycles of swirl.

SPEAKER_1: Purpose and success.

SPEAKER_1: Now by definition, purpose means the reason something is done or created, or for which something exists.

SPEAKER_1: The reason something exists.

SPEAKER_1: Success means the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

SPEAKER_1: You see the connection between the two?

SPEAKER_1: Now in the Western world especially, we have this overarching tendency to link success to purpose, to our work, to our titles, to what we’ve amassed materially.

SPEAKER_1: But here’s the interesting thing that I’ve learned in my own life, and through the women that I coach.

SPEAKER_1: We can have all of these achievements, and we can still be left searching when it comes to purpose.

SPEAKER_1: There’s still something missing there.
SPEAKER_1: And that’s because purpose is intrinsic to who we are.
SPEAKER_1: It is the reason that we exist.
SPEAKER_1: We simply exist to be ourselves.
SPEAKER_1: Now let’s shift gears and talk about authenticity, which I call the superstar in waiting.

SPEAKER_1: By definition, authenticity means the quality of being genuine, not corrupted from the original, truthfulness of origins, attributions, commitments, sincerity, and intentions.

SPEAKER_1: Let’s pause here.

SPEAKER_1: How would your life change if you understood and accepted that your purpose, the reason that you exist, is to simply live as your most authentic, uncorrupted, genuine self with commitment, intention, and sincerity?

SPEAKER_1: And by living authentically with intention, you would be successful, that you would accomplish your aim or purpose.

SPEAKER_1: Women I coach are making big time internal shifts just like this to align with their unique purpose of living authentically, and it is not an easy process.

SPEAKER_1: It requires a crap ton of courage and a willingness to shed who they thought they should be in order to rediscover who they have always been.

SPEAKER_1: It’s humbling, it’s illuminating, it’s freeing all at the same time, and it takes time.

SPEAKER_1: And I know because I did my own authenticity and purpose inventory, and it spanned years.

SPEAKER_1: And it was worth it because here’s what I learned.

SPEAKER_1: I learned that I have authentically always been a person very similar to the one I have allowed myself to be now.

SPEAKER_1: I have always been a peacemaker and someone drawn to help and lift others up. SPEAKER_1: I have always been kind.
SPEAKER_1: I am authentically a woman who needs time in nature to be whole. SPEAKER_1: I need to plant and get my hands in the earth.

SPEAKER_1: I am authentically a writer, a reader, and a lover of animals. SPEAKER_1: I am authentically curious and forgiving.

SPEAKER_1: I am authentically an instigator and a woman with big ideas who believes everything is possible.

SPEAKER_1: I am authentically a mother, a confidant, a keeper of secrets, and a damn good friend. SPEAKER_1: I am authentically a woman who values love far more than any material thing.

SPEAKER_1: And as I’ve reflected on all of the years that I spent striving to understand and live some other purpose, I realized that it seemed impossible and frustrating because I was focused on living up to a definition of success that did not align with who I have authentically always been.

SPEAKER_1: So I changed my definition of success.

SPEAKER_1: And what it means for me now is living as myself, honoring my life every single day and showing up in my own way because no one else has that opportunity or privilege.

SPEAKER_1: And if I have done that at the end of every single day, I have been successful and I have lived my purpose.

SPEAKER_1: And I can mark the year that I made that shift with deep gratitude. SPEAKER_1: And today, I am vigilant about living my purpose by living as myself. SPEAKER_1: And you can too, you can make this shift if it is important to you. SPEAKER_1: So as we wrap up, I promised you three ways to help you.

SPEAKER_1: So I’m going to offer you three mindful questions with the sincere hope that they will help you reflect on who you authentically are so that you can begin to shift the way you think about your purpose and your life.

SPEAKER_1: Grab a pen. SPEAKER_1: Here we go.

SPEAKER_1: Okay, number one, think back to your childhood and then look across all of your years up until now.

SPEAKER_1: Who have you always been?

SPEAKER_1: What have you always loved?

SPEAKER_1: What has always been important for you, and what are you making space for now?

SPEAKER_1: Number two, think about where you are expending energy.

SPEAKER_1: Where are you striving, and why?

SPEAKER_1: Where are you living in alignment with the person that you’ve always been, but maybe lost along the way?

SPEAKER_1: Where are you just leaving her, standing by the roadside, waiting for you to drive past and pick her up?

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SPEAKER_1: Number three, what would change about your life and your mindset and the relationship that you have with yourself right now if you accepted that your purpose in life was to simply be you because no one else can?

SPEAKER_1: Now, if you’re ready to get out of the swirl and develop a mindset of clarity and confidence that helps you live your most authentic life, I can help.

SPEAKER_1: I’d love to meet you.

SPEAKER_1: Head to the contact form on my website,

SPEAKER_1: Tell me what’s on your mind.

SPEAKER_1: Let’s grab some time to talk and explore what’s possible for you together.

SPEAKER_1: Before I sign off, I want to remind you of this.

SPEAKER_1: There is only one you.

SPEAKER_1: And in case no one’s told you yet today, that is the thing that makes you simply amazed.

SPEAKER_1: And that’s the end of the show today, everybody.

SPEAKER_1: I hope it has served you well.

SPEAKER_1: Thank you so much for tuning in.

SPEAKER_1: If you’ve liked what you’ve heard, please drop a review wherever you grab your favorite podcast.

SPEAKER_1: Please subscribe so you never miss an episode.
SPEAKER_1: And please be sure to share this podcast with another woman that you love.

SPEAKER_1: If you’d like to learn more about me or my work, check out my website,

SPEAKER_1: Until next time, remember to be super kind to yourself and do your very best to leave everyone and everything just a little bit better.

If you’re ready to develop a mindset of confidence and clarity that will help you live your most authentic and kick ass, I’d love to meet you. Send me a note  and tell me what’s on your mind. Let’s explore what’s possible for your life through mindfulness based life coaching.