Here’s the million dollar question: What would change about your life if you lived with less fear? What chances would you take? How would your perception of the world change? What permission would you give yourself? How would overcoming fear change the way you communicate? Your relationships? Where you live and work? What would become possible that isn’t possible for you right now?
Chances are, fear is affecting you and your life more than you realize.
It’s certainly been true for me and for the majority of my clients. When I chose to do the work I needed to do to overcome my own fear, I started by understanding what fear actually is. Here’s what I learned. By definition, fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something or someone is dangerous; likely to cause pain or a threat.” What stuck out for me are two parts of that definition: the belief and the emotion. I thought, “Wait! I can control what I believe which means I can control how I feel.” That realization was such a game changer for me that it became the foundation for the life-coaching work I do around mindfulness and fear.
Here’s what else I’ve learned about fear. It’s a sneaky little bastard that wears a wide variety of disguises.
Sometimes, fear dresses like self-protection. When you’re faced with a life-threatening situation, a healthy shot of fear is absolutely necessary. But, when it comes to everyday life, living in a constant state of fear sabotages all that is good, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Fear can also dress like anger, emotional reactivity, insecurity, evasiveness, and sarcasm. It wiggles its way into your thoughts, language, non-verbal communication, actions, and overall vibe. Fear can become your energy source. When it does, it grabs you by the hand and leads you into dark, murky places, where false perception, self-limiting beliefs, and self-doubt hang out. Too much time with those jokers alters your perception and reality. Fear can also dress like a thief, that steals your joy, poisons your relationships and hijacks your power to place confidence in people, take chances or step into your own power.
When fear’s at the helm, it triggers your primitive flight-fight-freeze mode.
This floods your body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. When this stuff flows for too long, it causes inflammation in your body, that eventually damages your health. These stress hormones also impair cognition which makes thinking clearly super challenging. If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in quicksand- hopeless, anxious, exhausted, or powerless, you’ve very likely been riding on the fear ship. Fear is one of the biggest barriers when it comes to actualizing your potential.
Here’s the cool part. Fear can also be a sage teacher when you form a relationship that allows you to learn from it.
The simple truth is you’re in the driver’s seat. Fear does not exist outside of you. Fear exists within you. It’s your emotional response driven by your beliefs. Pause here and re-read that last sentence. Those two key components of fear are within your control.
You have the power to overcome whatever you fear by understanding it. Mindfulness helps you explore the belief that’s fueling your unpleasant (fear) emotion, challenge your mindset, and reset your thinking. This process helps you dismantle and overcome fear. With less fear, you have the freedom to experience every aspect of your life through a lens of courage, abundance, and optimism.
Here are three of the questions I offer clients to help them start the process of overcoming their fears:
- Where did my belief come from?
- What about that belief is true for me right now?
- What do I want to do with that belief now that I understand it?
*Are you ready to say f*** it to fear with mindfulness based life coaching? If you’re nodding your head and smiling, let’s talk.
