How to Live A Joyful Life Featuring Tash Durkins

by | May 8, 2024 | Podcasts

HOW TO LIVE A JOYFUL LIFE WITH TASH DURKINS

TRANSCRIPT

SPEAKER_1: You’re listening to She Grabs The Mic, and I’m your host, Cole Baker-Bagwell.

SPEAKER_1: Every week, we’ll explore what it means to be happy, present and whole.

SPEAKER_1: You’ll hear from courageous women who are kicking ass in their lives, and leave with actionable tips that you can apply to reset from toxicity, tune into your gold, and live powerfully from the bedroom to the boardroom.

SPEAKER_1: Right now, it’s time to grab your headphones, kick back and relax and get ready to be inspired.

SPEAKER_1: Welcome, welcome, welcome, Amazing Ones!

SPEAKER_1: I’m so very happy that you’re here today!

SPEAKER_1: You made a mindful choice by tuning in to explore what’s possible, to learn, expand, say yes to yourself, and yes to your life, and that is worth celebrating today.

SPEAKER_1: I hope that you can feel that kind of joy.

SPEAKER_1: And on that note, I have an absolutely amazing woman who’s joining us today.

SPEAKER_1: I’m excited to introduce you to Tash Durkins, a woman who is all about joy.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, she just exudes it.

SPEAKER_1: She’s absolutely incredible.

SPEAKER_1: Tash is the CEO and founder of Fiercely Joyful.

SPEAKER_1: She’s a seasoned executive, a keynote speaker, a coach for people who want to break free from social conformance.

SPEAKER_1: God, I love that.

SPEAKER_1: And she’s the author of the book, Fiercely Joyful, 11 Keys to Living Authentically and Creating the Life That You Love.

SPEAKER_1: Joy is Tash’s passion.
SPEAKER_1: It is her gift.
SPEAKER_1: It is her why for being here in this world.

SPEAKER_1: Welcome, Tash.

SPEAKER_1: I am so thrilled that you’re here with me today.

SPEAKER_2: Oh, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_2: That’s such a lovely introduction.

SPEAKER_2: I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_2: And I’m honored to be with you today.

SPEAKER_1: Thank you.

SPEAKER_1: I am too.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, I was looking forward to this conversation.

SPEAKER_1: I’ve been looking forward to it for so long.

SPEAKER_1: And I think, wow, what a perfect time to talk about joy.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, with everything that’s going on in the world, to remind ourselves that joy is there.

SPEAKER_1: And I know this is just your jam.

SPEAKER_1: So you are here to spread that with the people who are listening right now.

SPEAKER_1: And hopefully they will take it out and share it with every single person that they meet in their lives today.

SPEAKER_1: So you and I specifically this week are going to talk about joy and how women can derive so much more of this delicious vibe across their lives.

SPEAKER_1: Now, before we get into your fabulous work that you’re sharing around the world, and thank you, thank you, thank you for that.

SPEAKER_1: Can we talk for a few minutes about dogs?
SPEAKER_2: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_1: I mean, holy smokes.
SPEAKER_1: Talk about pure unadulterated joy, Tash.
SPEAKER_1: What lessons have you learned from your dogs, Boomer and Kobe, about joy?

SPEAKER_2: Well, as they sit here listening in with me here, I tell you, they have this way of making me feel so happy, making me feel such peace, and they seem to know when I need them most, right?

SPEAKER_2: I love my dogs.

SPEAKER_2: They are absolutely an amazing part of our family, and they just keep us happy all the time.

SPEAKER_2: They know when I’m having a tough day and maybe struggling a little bit to find that joy, they come sit at my feet or they come give me a little lick on the cheek and make me so happy.

SPEAKER_2: I just love it.

SPEAKER_1: What kinds of dogs are they?

SPEAKER_1: Let’s start with Boomer.

SPEAKER_2: Boomer is a Shih Tzu and Bichon mix.

SPEAKER_2: He’s like a little 20-pounder, really cute guy and he’s bright white.

SPEAKER_2: And then Kobe is actually a Shih Tzu and having these mix, and he’s this beautiful like marble brown color, 30 pounds.

SPEAKER_2: We thought we were getting smaller than Boomer, but he’s bigger.

SPEAKER_2: The younger ones are bigger.

SPEAKER_1: More joy.

SPEAKER_2: They get tons of attention because they’re just so pretty together and they can be so playful.

SPEAKER_2: We take them out, they steal the show.

SPEAKER_2: They’re just amazing.

SPEAKER_1: Well, I have to swap you a dog story real quick, Tash, because I am also like a dog mama.

SPEAKER_1: I just love them so much.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, so my husband will leave every day to go to work, and I, of course, work from home.

SPEAKER_1: And, you know, it’s a few hours that he’s gone.

SPEAKER_1: And the minute, the very second that they hear him pulling down the driveway, it’s like the alarm bells go off.

SPEAKER_1: I open the front door because I’ve learned not to schedule anything in this like 15-minute window of him coming home because it’s just going to be, you know, a little bit of joyful mayhem here at our house.

SPEAKER_1: So I open the door, Tash, and they go racing out to him, talking, barking, like squealing, like they’ve never seen him before.

SPEAKER_1: And I thought, man, what if we met one another with that kind of joy all the time?

SPEAKER_1: Can you imagine what this world would be like?

SPEAKER_2: Oh, how wonderful things would be.

SPEAKER_2: You’re absolutely right, Cole, because I’m fortunate to get that treatment when I come home, because my husband is home most days with the dogs.

SPEAKER_2: And I get that treatment.
SPEAKER_2: And can you imagine, you’re absolutely right, if people are that excited to see you? SPEAKER_2: Well, I know.
SPEAKER_1: I know.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, what if we saw, you know, a friend at the grocery store and we went to, you know, to them, we approached them with that full on tail wagging, unadulterated, just pure, I don’t care who sees me, joy.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, that’s amazing stuff.
SPEAKER_1: It has the power, I think, to change the world, Tash. SPEAKER_2: Absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: And there’s, you know, I can’t even now remember what it was. SPEAKER_2: There was something I was super excited about last week. SPEAKER_2: Oh my, I’ve got an award for my book.
SPEAKER_2: And I was just stunned that I got an award for my book. SPEAKER_1: Congratulations.

SPEAKER_1: Of course you did.

SPEAKER_1: It’s amazing.

SPEAKER_1: So congratulations to you for that.

SPEAKER_1: Well earned.

SPEAKER_2: But I said I was, you know, I posted something about it.

SPEAKER_2: And I said, I am totally dancing like no one’s watching today.

SPEAKER_2: And I hope you all will join me wherever you are.

SPEAKER_1: That’s beautiful.

SPEAKER_1: And we’re going to talk about your fabulous book.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, this is, you know, that is so important.

SPEAKER_1: That point that you made.

SPEAKER_1: I think that there are so many people.

SPEAKER_1: I have been one of those people at one time in my life.

SPEAKER_1: You work so hard for something.

SPEAKER_1: And then it’s like that moment arrives and we forget to jump in the joy.

SPEAKER_1: We forget to dance, Tash.

SPEAKER_1: Why do you think that is?

SPEAKER_2: It’s so interesting, Cole.

SPEAKER_2: It seems to be programmed into us these days to just start focusing on the next thing, the next big accomplishment.

SPEAKER_2: Literally yesterday, I was talking to my mentee who’s, you know, in that process, she’s graduating with her MBA and trying to figure out what’s next and hasn’t had a moment yet to just stop and be like, oh my God, I’m graduating in two weeks.

SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_2: This is amazing what I just accomplished.

SPEAKER_2: And it’s that sort of normalized behavior of checking the box and then moving forward to the next thing, which is why I believe stopping and giving ourselves some space to celebrate is so necessary.

SPEAKER_2: And that’s actually why I journal.

SPEAKER_2: It helps me do that.

SPEAKER_1: Absolutely.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, it’s kind of a sad truth, isn’t it?

SPEAKER_1: Just to think that we are caught in this swirl of striving and whether we’re striving for a title at work or a new home or a vacation, paying for this vacation that we’ve dreamed of taking.

SPEAKER_1: And then it’s like you get there.
SPEAKER_1: And it’s almost like we’re desensitized to joy in a way.

SPEAKER_1: And I can’t figure it out because, again, if my dog gets to go for a ride to the post office with me because we live in a place where we have to go to the post office and pick up our mail, my dogs think like they’ve been to Hawaii.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, they don’t know that they’ve just been to the post office.

SPEAKER_1: They’re just so thrilled to get in the car and go.

SPEAKER_1: And I look at people, so many people that I know, they have so much materially.

SPEAKER_1: They have accomplished so many things, much like your mentee who’s getting ready to graduate, and they just miss it.

SPEAKER_2: Yes. SPEAKER_2: Yes.

SPEAKER_2: And there’s that opportunity, I think, for us to turn things around a little bit and normalize being more present, because I think that’s part of it, Cole, right?

SPEAKER_2: Is that just stopping to be present in the moment is not only not the norm, it’s actually tough to do these days because there are so many distractions.

SPEAKER_2: And there’s a need to be incredibly intentional about it.

SPEAKER_2: And some people may catch me doing it sometimes, but I do have conversations with myself, even out in public, saying to myself, Tash, hold on, just slow down, take this in, because this is a

special moment or something to enjoy or whatever it is.

SPEAKER_1: Yes, even if it’s a small thing, and you’ve brought up a wonderful point about presence.

SPEAKER_1: And I tell the women that I coach that presence is practice.

SPEAKER_1: I think it used to come automatically.

SPEAKER_1: In fact, I know it did when we were children.

SPEAKER_1: If you sit back and see a kid at a park, for instance, or on a playground, that kid, they can have a runny nose.

SPEAKER_1: But if they’re sitting in a sandbox with a shovel, all they’re focused on is the sandbox and the shovel.

SPEAKER_1: They don’t care about the runny nose.

SPEAKER_1: They don’t care about what they’re having for dinner or what happened six days ago.

SPEAKER_1: They’re right there in that moment.

SPEAKER_1: So I know that we have that capacity.

SPEAKER_1: And then, like you said, the distractions, I think, are very much a factor when it comes to us being present and then joyful in our lives.

SPEAKER_1: So you and I are going to talk about how women and the men in their lives, if they choose to share this information with them, can go about feeling and experiencing more joy, big and small, because the joy is in the small things, too, isn’t it, Tash?

SPEAKER_2: Oh, my gosh, I couldn’t agree more.
SPEAKER_2: Cole, because I actually, honestly, I get some of the best joy comes from the small things.

SPEAKER_2: And I remember as a kid when my mom would be excited to go to bed at night because the sheets felt cozy.

SPEAKER_1: Yes.

SPEAKER_2: And she would just, I could hear her from her bedroom to mine, and she was like, oh, bed time, and the sheets felt good.

SPEAKER_2: You know, just that little thing.
SPEAKER_2: And that, I think, helped me see how important the small things are and how much joy

there is in them.

SPEAKER_2: And I do that to this day, Cole.

SPEAKER_2: My husband still thinks it’s strange with 10 years in.

SPEAKER_2: But I get in a bed and I’m like, oh, the sheets feel so good.

SPEAKER_2: The small things are amazing.

SPEAKER_1: You know what, I feel the same way.

SPEAKER_1: I totally see you.

SPEAKER_1: We get in the bed at night.

SPEAKER_1: So today we changed our sheets, right?

SPEAKER_1: Sundays, which is the day we’re recording today, are sheet changing days for us at the Bagwell House.

SPEAKER_1: And we have these really delicious cotton sheets. SPEAKER_1: There’s not much to them.

SPEAKER_1: In fact, probably I’m going to wash them 20 more times and I’m going to start to be sad because they’ll start to fray.

SPEAKER_1: But I’m telling you, Tash, they feel so good.

SPEAKER_1: And there’s nothing like getting into clean sheets at night, just that small thing.

SPEAKER_1: Oh, it’s good.

SPEAKER_1: And if you shave your legs and get in the cozy sheets, even better.

SPEAKER_2: Oh, those are really special nights.

SPEAKER_2: You feel that against your freshly shaven legs.

SPEAKER_2: It’s amazing.

SPEAKER_1: Yeah, because otherwise it’s like you have these clean sheets and there’s something in the way, right?

SPEAKER_2: Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_1: So let’s talk about you’re a Joy aficionado.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, I think that’s fair to say.

SPEAKER_1: So I know a lot of people confuse joy with happiness.

SPEAKER_1: I’m curious to know what do you think is the difference between happiness and joy as we consider sources of both and the impact that these different emotions can have on our lives?

SPEAKER_2: I love that question.

SPEAKER_2: I am definitely very intentional about my focus on joy, particularly because I see joy as coexisting with other feelings.

SPEAKER_2: So you can be struggling and still be joyful.

SPEAKER_1: Give me an example.

SPEAKER_1: Give me an example of that.

SPEAKER_2: For example, I have experienced a lot of loss in my life.

SPEAKER_2: And when I think about losing my mom at a relatively young age, I was 20, it was incredibly difficult.

SPEAKER_2: And I was depressed and grieving.

SPEAKER_2: And it went on for some time, you know, almost two years of depression.

SPEAKER_2: At the same time, though, I was able to find solace and comfort and memories of her.

SPEAKER_2: And I could laugh and I could have a good day thinking and pulling from some of the experiences I had.

SPEAKER_2: Because though I only had 20 years, Cole, there were 20 amazing years. SPEAKER_2: And I was able to still have joy even in the midst of grief. SPEAKER_2: And so for me, there’s this endurance that comes with joy. SPEAKER_2: And we tend to think of happy or sad, right?

SPEAKER_2: Joy you can have at the same time. SPEAKER_2: They are not mutually exclusive.

SPEAKER_2: And lastly, you get to choose it. SPEAKER_2: You get to choose it for yourself. SPEAKER_2: And the joy comes from within. SPEAKER_2: It’s not external.

SPEAKER_2: It’s not I’m happy because my spouse or my mate or I’m happy because I have a thing. SPEAKER_2: It’s the joy that’s more…
SPEAKER_2: Joy is more intrinsic.
SPEAKER_2: It comes from within.

SPEAKER_2: And that’s what helps it be so enduring and helps it coexist with the hard things. SPEAKER_1: The story about your mom.
SPEAKER_1: You know, I know that you experienced this moment of loss with her in your twenties. SPEAKER_1: And that loss influenced your mindset and your purpose.

SPEAKER_1: And really sort of framed how you decided you wanted to show up in your life.

SPEAKER_1: And I’m wondering if you would be willing to share a bit more about that really monumental moment for you at her service and what you learned.

SPEAKER_2: Sure, sure, absolutely.
SPEAKER_2: So my mom, yeah, she was terminally ill with cancer.
SPEAKER_2: And she made it a point to speak very openly and transparently about it. SPEAKER_2: She was trying to get me and my brother prepared.
SPEAKER_2: And it was this one point when we literally were talking about her funeral. SPEAKER_2: And she said, gosh, I wonder who will come.
SPEAKER_2: And she had set up for me basically a list of everything to do for the funeral. SPEAKER_2: What songs, what scripture, the repast.
SPEAKER_2: She wrote it all down on the last page, the back side of her Bible.

SPEAKER_2: And she said, here it is.
SPEAKER_2: This is here for you.
SPEAKER_2: You don’t have to worry about it.
SPEAKER_2: All you need is here.
SPEAKER_2: But I’m still wondering who’s going to come.
SPEAKER_2: I was like, wow, I’d never thought of such a thing, of course, 20 years old. SPEAKER_2: So I said, you know what?

SPEAKER_2: I talked to my brother.
SPEAKER_2: And we decided to do an appreciation ceremony for her.

SPEAKER_2: We wanted her to see basically who would come while she was still alive and actually be able to experience the love from the community and all the people she impacted.

SPEAKER_2: So we scheduled the ceremony at our church.

SPEAKER_2: And Cole, on the day of the event, it was standing room only, literally.

SPEAKER_2: There were people all around the church standing up.

SPEAKER_2: Balcony was full.

SPEAKER_2: And this was back in the mid-90s, so we had VHS recordings.

SPEAKER_1: I remember those.

SPEAKER_2: So we played some videos and people one by one got up to talk and tell my mother how she impacted them.

SPEAKER_2: And I was stunned.
SPEAKER_2: I mean, I’ve got to tell you, I did not expect all that, Cole.
SPEAKER_2: I didn’t really know what to expect.
SPEAKER_2: I just liked creating space for the thing to happen so mom could feel appreciated.

SPEAKER_2: And it blew my mind to see how many people my mother had impacted so beautifully and meaningfully by just being her, being committed to a life of service and compassion for humanity in her

community.

SPEAKER_2: And I remember in that moment thinking, if I could just have one quarter of the impact she has had in my life when she’s gone, I’ll be successful.

SPEAKER_2: It was amazing.

SPEAKER_2: It was so amazing.

SPEAKER_1: What a tremendous gift you all gave to your mother.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, well, she didn’t have to wonder anymore, did she, about who would show up?

SPEAKER_2: She said, I had a standing room.

SPEAKER_2: Of course, we went back and debriefed it.

SPEAKER_2: She said, I can’t believe in the videos.

SPEAKER_2: It meant the world to her.

SPEAKER_2: And I did.

SPEAKER_2: I felt a sense of peace in my soul that she left knowing that.

SPEAKER_2: I’m not wondering.

SPEAKER_1: No, she didn’t have to wonder anymore.

SPEAKER_1: That’s amazing, Tash.

SPEAKER_1: Now, you just used the word success.

SPEAKER_1: You said, if I can have a quarter of the impact my mother has had on lives, then I will have been successful.

SPEAKER_1: How do you define success?

SPEAKER_1: Because I have a feeling that that’s one of the things that gets in the way of us allowing ourselves to feel this intrinsic joy.

SPEAKER_2: Excellent point.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, excellent point.
SPEAKER_2: And for so many years, I had not sat down to define success for myself.

SPEAKER_2: I really didn’t take the time to think about it. SPEAKER_2: I simply adopted what generally society says.

SPEAKER_2: I have a good-paying job, steady job, have a nice home, purchase a home, and open it up to share with people and have a car and have these possessions.

SPEAKER_2: It was all about possessions and my job for so long, my title, all those things.

SPEAKER_2: And as I reflected back on my mom, her impact had nothing to do with any of those things.

SPEAKER_2: Her impact came from how she made people feel, how she made them feel valued and seen.

SPEAKER_2: And so I’ve adopted that similarly for myself, Cole, whereas success is about the impact I have on the world around me, one person at a time.

SPEAKER_2: I want to, one, be an advocate for those who don’t have a voice or aren’t heard.

SPEAKER_2: And I want to be able to leave people feeling inspired, feeling motivated, feeling hope after I’ve had engagement with them.

SPEAKER_2: That for me is success, one person at a time.

SPEAKER_1: Yeah, that’s beautiful.

SPEAKER_1: One person at a time.

SPEAKER_1: You have this saying that too many of us settle for our lives instead of creating the ones that we want.

SPEAKER_1: Why do you think so many people settle when it comes to work especially?

SPEAKER_2: Well, going back to some of our earlier discussion about being present, the focus is often on that box checking.

SPEAKER_2: And even at work, it’s like I’ve got to get the next promotion or the next title or the bigger set of responsibilities.

SPEAKER_2: And we miss out on the opportunity to stop and think, okay, we can do those things. SPEAKER_2: But how can we do that in harmony with what brings us joy?
SPEAKER_2: You know, that is possible.

SPEAKER_2: But who stops to think about it?

SPEAKER_2: We just don’t.

SPEAKER_2: We just do.

SPEAKER_2: You know, we’re doing the things that support our families, ourselves.

SPEAKER_2: We’re again, often working to conform to what society expects of us.

SPEAKER_2: And we’ve seen some people who didn’t conform and it didn’t work out well.

SPEAKER_2: So we may not necessarily feel inspired to do anything different.

SPEAKER_2: You know, but I think that my mission is to help us see that we are making a choice even if it’s not intentional.

SPEAKER_2: So why not take a step back and think about what we want the choice to be and do that, you know, again, in alignment with truly our purpose, our values and what brings us joy.

SPEAKER_1: That is beautiful.

SPEAKER_1: Yeah.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, I know you’re absolutely right that we forget.

SPEAKER_1: We forget we have choices.

SPEAKER_1: We forget that we can pivot.

SPEAKER_1: We can, you know, say this is what I want.

SPEAKER_1: This is what I don’t want.

SPEAKER_1: Or we can just go along and we can settle.

SPEAKER_1: And that is totally up to every single one of us.

SPEAKER_1: And I know it looks different depending on our circumstances.

SPEAKER_1: You know, if we’re raising kids or, you know, if we’re in a bad relationship, maybe we feel stuck.

SPEAKER_1: But I totally agree with you that we do have choices.
SPEAKER_1: And our missions align very closely in that respect, is that I am on a mission to help

women understand and remember that they do have agency and choices when it comes to their lives. SPEAKER_1: We all do.
SPEAKER_1: We’re making a choice right now.
SPEAKER_1: We decided to hop on and record this podcast together.

SPEAKER_1: Instead of doing whatever else, right, we could have been doing today.

SPEAKER_1: Along the lines of work, you are a huge inspiration, a quiet inspiration in this respect, because maybe a lot of people don’t know this story.

SPEAKER_1: But you mentioned to me during another conversation that you made a really important choice for yourself a few years ago in your professional life, which became sort of your She Grabs The Mic moment.

SPEAKER_1: And it really gave you the space to do so much of the work that you do now.

SPEAKER_1: So I’m wondering, Tash, if you can sort of frame up what was happening, the choice that you made, and how that choice boosted the overall joy that you were able then to realize in your life.

SPEAKER_2: Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_2: So I was, and I have really loved the work that I do most of my career, certainly for the last couple of decades.

SPEAKER_2: And you know, sometimes you find yourself in that space of really loving the work so much, and even sometimes the people around you, that you will dismiss some of the things that aren’t quite right.

SPEAKER_2: And that’s what I realized I was doing.

SPEAKER_2: So I had a boss who was incredibly empowering, and he really valued my counsel and advice and the things I brought to the table that were different from his.

SPEAKER_2: And at a certain point, he exited and the new boss came in, whom I didn’t know.

SPEAKER_2: And he didn’t have, you know, that same perspective.

SPEAKER_2: He didn’t know me, didn’t trust me yet.

SPEAKER_2: So it was clear I had to really work hard to develop that trust and credibility and demonstrate my value.

SPEAKER_2: So I set about doing it.

SPEAKER_2: And about two and a half years in, I hadn’t checked the box.

SPEAKER_2: I was not successful in demonstrating my value to him in such a way that he felt I needed to be engaged and he needed to talk to me.

SPEAKER_2: And it was important to have my counsel and my contributions. SPEAKER_2: And I was breaking my back, Cole, trying to get him to accept me. SPEAKER_2: And trying to get him to validate me.
SPEAKER_2: And finally, Tash, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_2: This just may not be the space and place for you anymore.

SPEAKER_2: You know, and I had a conversation with another senior leader who suggested I seek another opportunity, which was kind of lofty.

SPEAKER_2: And I was nervous, very nervous about it.

SPEAKER_2: And I told my boss and my boss was like, I don’t think you qualify.

SPEAKER_2: I said, well, okay.

SPEAKER_2: Well, then I guess I’m going to apply.

SPEAKER_2: I believe I do.

SPEAKER_2: Even though I really was quite nervous, I have to say.

SPEAKER_2: So I did.

SPEAKER_2: I put my name in the hat, got the opportunity.

SPEAKER_2: It was a temporary one and pushed myself way outside my comfort zone.

SPEAKER_2: But when I got into the role, Cole, I realized I had everything I needed.

SPEAKER_2: I was ready for that.

SPEAKER_2: And I really was in this space now of being able to flourish differently than I had certainly for that last two and a half years because people welcomed it.

SPEAKER_2: They welcomed me in.
SPEAKER_2: They were curious about my input ideas, etc.

SPEAKER_2: And they were comfortable with me showing up fully as myself.

SPEAKER_2: And so that taught me, wow, sometimes you’re put in that place of discomfort because it’s time for you to make a move.

SPEAKER_2: And I no longer wanted to settle for tamping down my voice, not contributing as fully as I could because I knew I could do more.

SPEAKER_2: I had more value to bring.

SPEAKER_2: And I really started to feel uncomfortable because I wasn’t being fully me.

SPEAKER_2: Even if someone disagrees with the ideas, okay, no problem.

SPEAKER_2: But I should be able to get them out.

SPEAKER_2: I should be able to share them.

SPEAKER_2: What I can’t even share them, then that’s not the right place for me.

SPEAKER_2: And that was the moment when everything changed.

SPEAKER_2: My career has skyrocketed since that moment when I chose me.

SPEAKER_1: Wow, that was a hugely courageous choice, Tash.

SPEAKER_2: I was scared.

SPEAKER_2: Let me tell you because I had to leave my hometown.

SPEAKER_2: I was in DC and had to go work in Fort Worth.

SPEAKER_2: And literally the day before I was supposed to fly, I just told my husband, I said, you know what?

SPEAKER_2: I don’t think this is the right decision.
SPEAKER_2: I’m thinking I’m going to email them and let them know I can’t do this. SPEAKER_2: And he was like, I think you need to get on the plane.
SPEAKER_2: And guess what?
SPEAKER_2: If you don’t like it when you get there, you can come back. SPEAKER_2: But you need to try.

SPEAKER_2: So I needed help.

SPEAKER_2: And as they’re in, of course, the power of community and support systems, thank goodness he pushed me because I might not have gotten on the plane.

SPEAKER_2: I was afraid, but I did.

SPEAKER_2: And it worked out so well.

SPEAKER_1: Congratulations to you, lady.

SPEAKER_1: So what I hear you saying is that you recognized that you had outgrown where you were, that the alignment was no longer there for you.

SPEAKER_1: And so you said, I’m going to choose me.

SPEAKER_1: I’m going to choose higher alignment for myself.

SPEAKER_1: And it worked out.

SPEAKER_1: Not only did it work out a little bit, like it just, boom, just became the rocket ship for your career.

SPEAKER_1: Why do you think alignment matters so much when it comes to experiencing more joy?

SPEAKER_2: I would say the fulfillment that comes from being able to offer all that I know I have, oh, it’s just unparalleled.

SPEAKER_2: So I think back to being a kid who was uncomfortable raising her hand in class.

SPEAKER_2: Even in college, I have the answer, and I’d be sitting there trying to get the courage up to just raise my hand and then up.

SPEAKER_2: Usually some guy would say the thing before I got the courage.

SPEAKER_2: Defeated, because I knew I had more to give and I didn’t even give myself the chance to do it.

SPEAKER_2: And so that alignment to me is so strong, because that’s what we are here to do.

SPEAKER_2: In other words, when we get to show up authentically, we’re able to show up and live our purpose.

SPEAKER_2: And if your purpose, you’re in that room, you’re in that meeting, you’re in that event, that engagement for a reason that only you can bring.

SPEAKER_1: Yes, yes, exactly. SPEAKER_2: Only you, right?

SPEAKER_2: So that’s the why for me, why the alignment is just so strong, because now I get to serve in the way that I’m meant to serve in this world.

SPEAKER_1: I love that.

SPEAKER_1: What a gift.

SPEAKER_1: What a gift that is for you to realize that.

SPEAKER_1: I think authenticity is another one of those things that so many people struggle with, especially now, you know, social media.

SPEAKER_1: My God, don’t even get me started on this.

SPEAKER_1: I’m not going to get myself started on this, because it’ll take us to a place that is absent of joy for me.

SPEAKER_1: But I do know that it has had a tremendous impact on authenticity, which literally means, you know, showing up as the original.

SPEAKER_1: So the original you, for instance, and I think a lot of people may not even remember who that original person was, because they’ve gotten lost along the way.

SPEAKER_1: Who have you authentically always been, Tash? SPEAKER_2: Oh, my gosh.
SPEAKER_2: I love that question, Cole.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah, it’s so interesting.

SPEAKER_2: I posted a picture on LinkedIn not too long ago of me as a kid with my parents and Muhammad Ali, of all people.

SPEAKER_2: My dad was running for mayor of Scranton, Pennsylvania, and we literally showed up at Muhammad Ali’s house in Allentown, Pennsylvania, and my dad talked him into supporting his campaign.

SPEAKER_2: So it was an amazing moment, that one, learning about some courage for sure in the power of community again.

SPEAKER_2: But I share that because when I posted the picture, Cole, I’m in Ali’s hands and missing my

two front teeth and grinning from ear to ear.

SPEAKER_2: And everyone that knows me, the most common response was, oh my God, look at the joy you had even back then.

SPEAKER_2: Look at that.

SPEAKER_2: And that, wow, that pretty much brought me to tears when I read those comments because I just felt so grateful that that joy has been cultivated, really my entire life starting with my parents.

SPEAKER_2: And that is who I am regardless of whatever the challenges may be because they are and I always say life is amazing for me in this moment.

SPEAKER_2: It’s not perfect. SPEAKER_2: It’s amazing though.

SPEAKER_2: And that’s because of the joy that that among most things or all other things has been the constant for me.

SPEAKER_1: I think that’s a beautiful practice saying this moment, in this moment, life is, right?

SPEAKER_1: In this moment because time traveling, heading to the past, heading to the future, you know, sometimes not joy.

SPEAKER_1: We’re worried.

SPEAKER_1: We have regret, you know, think about what we should have, could have, would have.

SPEAKER_1: But being in this moment, there are so many gifts.

SPEAKER_1: I love that.

SPEAKER_1: And I, you are an absolutely gorgeous woman.

SPEAKER_1: And when you just shared about being with Muhammad Ali with missing your two front teeth and grinning ear to ear, I see it.

SPEAKER_1: I can so see it.

SPEAKER_1: Just that whole thing, because that is the impression that I got the very first time that I met you, Tash.

SPEAKER_2: Oh, thank you, Cole. SPEAKER_2: That’s so beautiful.

SPEAKER_2: I really appreciate that.

SPEAKER_1: Of course.

SPEAKER_1: Of course.

SPEAKER_1: So let’s talk about your work a little bit, because you are an on-fire, in-demand speaker, paid speaker.

SPEAKER_1: What a huge gift you are to every single person who has the opportunity to hear you speak.

SPEAKER_1: And I know that there are women listening right now who have thought about speaking, and they’re like, oh, I don’t have anything to say.

SPEAKER_1: I don’t have any formal training.

SPEAKER_1: All of these reasons that they might come up with.

SPEAKER_1: How did you get into it?

SPEAKER_2: Oh, my goodness.

SPEAKER_2: I said all those same narratives to myself when I started this thing.

SPEAKER_2: And I’ve been fortunate to have a number of opportunities through work for the non- compensated speaking engagements, which gave me great practice.

SPEAKER_2: And so I encourage folks to think about, you know, their existing networks where you can go and speak and get some practice and where you feel like there’s little risk if it doesn’t go the way you want it to.

SPEAKER_2: You know, it might be church, it might be your book group, it might be, you know, some networking organization.

SPEAKER_2: Club, you’re a member of, you know, but there are ways to start small and get yourself comfortable with it.

SPEAKER_2: But I want to share something I did learn in a public speaking course that I took.

SPEAKER_2: Years after I started around the nervousness, because that’s like the part most of us cannot get over, right?

SPEAKER_2: The public speaking in front of people, losing our minds, you know, for me, it’s dry mouth and it happens every time.

SPEAKER_2: So just so everybody knows, I’ve been speaking for years and I still get dry mouth before

or at the start of every talk. SPEAKER_2: But that’s OK.

SPEAKER_2: A little bit of nerves is OK because it confirms that this still means something to you, that you care about how you show up.

SPEAKER_2: But the learning was to remember that it’s not about you. SPEAKER_2: It’s about your audience and you’re providing service to them. SPEAKER_2: You are there to serve with your knowledge and your expertise. SPEAKER_2: They don’t know if you missed a line.

SPEAKER_2: They don’t know your talk like you know your talk.

SPEAKER_2: So you’re going to deliver if you just focus on coming to serve.

SPEAKER_2: That usually helps some of the nerves go away.

SPEAKER_2: And this, of course, after a short breathing exercise before I go on stage to just calm my nerves a little bit.

SPEAKER_2: But yeah, that’s how I would encourage folks to get out there because, and more importantly, everyone has a story.

SPEAKER_2: Cole, you know this more than most of us.

SPEAKER_2: Everyone has a story.

SPEAKER_2: And the moment you sit down and just think through your triumphs, your challenges, the things that you’re proud of, your successes, the things that remain unsolved yet haven’t taken you out, all those things are stories that someone can benefit from.

SPEAKER_2: And I’ll tell you, it was my mom and dad were always very willing to be incredibly vulnerable people and tell the story because they felt like somebody needed to hear it, somebody would be helped by it.

SPEAKER_2: And so I followed that same practice and it never fails.

SPEAKER_2: After speaking engagement, even if it’s something really small, folks come to me and say, it’s like you were talking to me.

SPEAKER_2: I needed to hear that.

SPEAKER_2: And it’s because I do follow my intuition, which I encourage people to do, try to get in touch with your gut and follow what it’s sharing with you and inspiring you to do.

SPEAKER_2: But that, no matter how small the story, it seems that someone needs to hear it. SPEAKER_2: So always assume that your story needs to be told.
SPEAKER_1: Yeah, I love that.
SPEAKER_1: You’re so right.

SPEAKER_1: There’s not a single human alive on this planet that doesn’t have a story to tell. SPEAKER_1: And by the way, it’ll be awesome because it’s theirs.
SPEAKER_1: Yes, it’s theirs.
SPEAKER_1: Nobody else had that same experience.

SPEAKER_1: You know, not in the same way you did. SPEAKER_1: Right?
SPEAKER_1: We all have.

SPEAKER_1: We could be at the same concert, see the same thing, and what we experience, our story of that concert would be very different because of all of the experiences that have led up to that and the mindset we’re in and, you know, whether we’re dancing our booties off or on our phones or whatever during that show.

SPEAKER_1: So I love that.

SPEAKER_1: So what I hear you saying is showing up, remembering that you’re there to serve, that because you are you, you have something special to share that nobody else does.

SPEAKER_1: And there’s somebody in that audience who’s going to pick up on that that day, even if it’s just one person.

SPEAKER_2: Every time, every time, you know, and it’s that to me is part of our purpose as well, because we get to share our learnings.

SPEAKER_2: We get to share our learnings with others.

SPEAKER_2: Hopefully, either some will learn it before, you know, having some of the same challenges we have, or they’ll just see maybe the space that they are in now is one you just got out of.

SPEAKER_1: Right.
SPEAKER_2: And they see you on the other side and you give them hope.

SPEAKER_2: So I just the stories are how we grow and connect in this world and can show some compassion for one another just as humans.

SPEAKER_1: That’s why I love podcasting.

SPEAKER_1: I love podcasting for that reason.

SPEAKER_1: Just there are so many beautiful stories that are shared because of inspiring women like yourself who are willing to say, hey, you know what, there was a time I didn’t have it all figured out or life wasn’t going quite the way that I wanted to because it wasn’t serving me well.

SPEAKER_1: And then this is what I did.

SPEAKER_1: And every single week that one of these episodes goes out, I get a note from somebody that says, thank you.

SPEAKER_1: Please tell Tash Durkins, I said, thank you for coming on because I really needed to hear that today.

SPEAKER_1: I’ve got a crappy boss too.

SPEAKER_1: I feel like I’ve outgrown my job or I feel like there was a memory that I didn’t remember until I heard this episode.

SPEAKER_1: So thank you, Tash.
SPEAKER_1: And speaking of stories, you have a book. SPEAKER_1: And congratulations again.
SPEAKER_1: Which award did you win this time for this book? SPEAKER_2: Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_2: I won the Book Fest Award.
SPEAKER_1: Woo, amazing.
SPEAKER_2: I’m so shocked, but I’m so, so stoked. SPEAKER_2: Yeah, I just found out about it.

SPEAKER_1: That’s amazing.

SPEAKER_1: So your book is called Fiercely Joyful, 11 Keys to Living Authentically and Creating the Life That You Love.

SPEAKER_1: Why was it important for you?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, it’s a story.
SPEAKER_1: All books are stories.
SPEAKER_1: Why was it important for you to write it?
SPEAKER_2: Well, I have to say one thing about something you just said, Cole. SPEAKER_2: And then I’ll answer that question.

SPEAKER_2: But you mentioned having things figured out, all figured out. SPEAKER_2: And for me, that is just pie in the sky for me and Tash. SPEAKER_2: I never get there.
SPEAKER_2: And I was all on this, she grabs the mic, listen to the podcast. SPEAKER_2: Because I’ve been trying to start a podcast for forever. SPEAKER_2: Tash will not be doing a podcast because I don’t think it’s for me. SPEAKER_2: But I am so inspired.

SPEAKER_2: I was just so inspired by you.

SPEAKER_2: The stories you give voice to and your work in coaching and empowering women, which is part of why I wanted to write the book.

SPEAKER_2: It’s just so inspiring and it’s such exceptional work.

SPEAKER_2: And I just want to be clear about, even though I’ve had some recent accomplishments, I’m still sitting here like, oh, I could be like Cole when I grow up, not having it all figured out.

SPEAKER_1: Oh, I don’t have it all figured out. SPEAKER_1: Not even close.
SPEAKER_1: And you know what?

SPEAKER_1: We should start a club, Tash, about women who don’t care about having it all figured out, because I don’t give a rip.

SPEAKER_1: I really don’t.

SPEAKER_1: I’m like, I do not choose to spend my time in that space anymore.

SPEAKER_2: Right.

SPEAKER_1: It is a fool’s errand to me.

SPEAKER_1: I choose to spend my time in a similar space as you.

SPEAKER_1: And it is, how did I show up today for the people in my life?

SPEAKER_1: How did I show up for me today?

SPEAKER_1: And where did I find gratitude?

SPEAKER_1: Because I was present and accounted for.

SPEAKER_1: Oh my God, there’s so many things I don’t have figured out.

SPEAKER_1: And I’ve just stopped caring about it.

SPEAKER_1: I’m like, well, OK.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, we only have so much energy in a day, right?

SPEAKER_1: You can put it there in trying to create this picture perfect life where every single puzzle piece fits together.

SPEAKER_1: Or you can go, well, the edges are there.

SPEAKER_1: That looks pretty good.

SPEAKER_1: And that’s how I feel.

SPEAKER_1: I’m like, well, the edges of the puzzle are there.

SPEAKER_1: And I kind of look at the rest of it in the middle as this beautiful mystery that I may never fully realize.

SPEAKER_2: Oh, my goodness.
SPEAKER_2: You know, I’m writing that down right now.

SPEAKER_2: Oh, that’s beautiful, Cole.
SPEAKER_2: Beautiful.
SPEAKER_1: The edges hold us together, though, right?
SPEAKER_1: I mean, the edges hold us together.
SPEAKER_1: And that took a long time for me to figure out those edges, but they’re in place. SPEAKER_2: Beautiful thing.
SPEAKER_2: Yes, it’s beautiful.
SPEAKER_2: So that is exactly one of the reasons why I wrote Fiercely Joyful. SPEAKER_2: Two big things.

SPEAKER_2: One, I felt like I learned so many amazing things from my parents that I had this literally an overwhelming feeling I had to share with as many people as who would listen because it was just great lessons that I didn’t feel, it felt wrong to keep to myself.

SPEAKER_2: I know it sounds kind of crazy, but I’m like, I got to get this out. SPEAKER_2: I got to get the word out.
SPEAKER_2: Everybody needs to know.

SPEAKER_2: And the second part of that was when I finally, and it’s been a bit over a decade now, but when I finally started to understand that I could choose joy for myself, I started to feel a sense of relief and a sense of peace, which gave me freedom.

SPEAKER_2: It gave me some freedom, Cole, and I want everybody to have that.

SPEAKER_2: I want everyone to feel free to be themselves, free to have a misstep and recover, free to be welcomed into spaces where they feel they truly belong and are valued, free to embrace all their quirks, craziness, whatever they have that they bring.

SPEAKER_2: All of that comes to the table, and it’s okay.

SPEAKER_2: Those are the two reasons why I was like, I have got to get this done, because I just want to share with the world that there’s a freedom that doesn’t cost money and that you can choose for yourself wherever you are.

SPEAKER_1: That’s beautiful.

SPEAKER_1: That is beautiful.

SPEAKER_1: How long did it take you to write it?

SPEAKER_2: Interestingly enough, I had talked about writing it for 10 years and didn’t write a word, and then I found a program perfect for me, which was like a group writing program where you get to write in community, and that’s where I thrive, my thriving community.

SPEAKER_2: So it only took me eight months to write the book, and that includes the revision process and everything.

SPEAKER_2: Five months, about five and a half was the first draft, and then the rest was revising and designing it.

SPEAKER_1: Well, it’s a beautiful, absolutely beautiful book. SPEAKER_1: It’s just, ooh, what a gift to the world. SPEAKER_1: Again, another, you are a gift to the world. SPEAKER_2: Thank you, Cole.

SPEAKER_2: Thank you so much for that.

SPEAKER_1: You really are.

SPEAKER_1: It’s coming from the bottom of my heart.

SPEAKER_1: What surprised you most about becoming an author?

SPEAKER_2: Well, interestingly enough, I never thought about how it would feel to have people walking around with my book, with highlights and bunny ears and all this.

SPEAKER_2: I never thought about that, right?
SPEAKER_2: So I get into situations now where people are quoting me, and it feels so strange.

SPEAKER_2: I mean, the book has been out going on, I guess, seven months, six, seven months, seven months, and it just feels so strange.

SPEAKER_2: But there were pieces of the book that I was adamant about including that my editor really didn’t think should be there.

SPEAKER_2: And it was because there were some stories that were dramatic that I felt I had to share to give the whole picture, you know?

SPEAKER_2: And that part of the book, Cole has resonated with so many people, which just shocked me.

SPEAKER_2: People say they feel seen, but the other piece of it is I really thought this was only going to be a book that men, or excuse me, women wanted.

SPEAKER_2: And it turns out men have a deep desire to be more authentic in this particular moment right now.

SPEAKER_2: So the men are very much into the teachings in the book and the stories and trying to find their way towards authenticity and more joy.

SPEAKER_1: That’s amazing.
SPEAKER_1: I love to hear that.
SPEAKER_1: I love to hear that.
SPEAKER_1: I don’t think I’m surprised about it. SPEAKER_1: I think it’s just wonderful that you know that. SPEAKER_2: It’s a blessing.

SPEAKER_2: I just thought it would be too, they didn’t want it, but plus I tend to think of, just in general, the opportunities that often come to men and the ability they have.

SPEAKER_2: So I thought to show up as who they wanted to be. SPEAKER_2: Yet they were like, Tash, no, not quite. SPEAKER_2: It’s not that easy and we need some help. SPEAKER_2: It was a shock for me.

SPEAKER_2: I just had made an assumption that was just all wrong.
SPEAKER_2: So I’m glad that I know better now.
SPEAKER_1: Well, you do a beautiful job of holding Space Tash for everyone, everyone, for all people. SPEAKER_1: It is not a gender thing.
SPEAKER_1: It is a joy thing.
SPEAKER_1: And it’s a love thing.

SPEAKER_1: That’s this vibration that you put out into the world with so much intelligence and soul and authenticity.

SPEAKER_1: Of course it’s resonating to everyone. SPEAKER_1: I mean, that’s just amazing. SPEAKER_1: I love it.

SPEAKER_1: So as we think about, so you’re a coach, you’re a speaker, you are an author, and this is all outside of your job as an executive, a seasoned executive who chose herself and is kicking ass in her career, which is amazing.

SPEAKER_1: What’s most important to you about the work that you’re doing specifically in the space of joy and authenticity?

SPEAKER_2: I’d say, and someone said this to me recently, I hadn’t thought of it in this way until she did.

SPEAKER_2: I’d say making it okay, helping people feel a sense of permission, which sounds weird to say, but permission to choose themselves, to put some priority on themselves and helping folks understand what we’ve all been taught to some extent more recently than prior, but that we can’t serve others until we have served ourselves.

SPEAKER_1: Yes.

SPEAKER_2: We can’t fully, right?

SPEAKER_2: We can’t fully.

SPEAKER_2: We can’t fully, and at some point, your cup is empty, you’ve got to stop and refill, right?

SPEAKER_2: You’ve got to stop and refill.

SPEAKER_2: So that for me is incredibly critical right now.

SPEAKER_2: I have said it before, audience after audience, and it never fails.

SPEAKER_2: The room just, ah, when I say I’m giving you permission right now because nobody else is, so I will.

SPEAKER_2: I’m going to give you permission to choose you. SPEAKER_2: And here’s what that can look like. SPEAKER_2: And no, it’s not selfish.

SPEAKER_2: This is how you prepare yourself to serve in whatever way you want to serve the world.

SPEAKER_1: Yes.

SPEAKER_2: But that’s kind of number one right now.

SPEAKER_1: Yes, that is a huge, huge, huge lesson and something that is so difficult for people to do, to choose themselves.

SPEAKER_1: We’ve been told, I grew up with my family saying to me, you put family first, you put God first.

SPEAKER_1: There was never anyone when I was growing up that said, it’s okay to put you first.

SPEAKER_1: And the women in my family, amazing women, and I’m going to focus just on the women in my family because I do think there is a uniquely differentiated burden that falls on women in some cultures and in the South, here in the United States, certainly fell on my family.

SPEAKER_1: Women were almost martyrs to family, community, church, work, whatever, kids. SPEAKER_1: I mean, I joke and tell my mother, I said, you never had a hot meal when I was growing up.

SPEAKER_1: You just served everybody else, and then you were washing the dishes and doing your thing.

SPEAKER_1: I mean, she was a single mom for most of my life, and she never put herself first.

SPEAKER_1: She never said, I’m going to sit down and eat my food that I’ve cooked for two hours while it’s warm and enjoy this moment.

SPEAKER_1: She put herself last a lot, and her reasons were different. SPEAKER_1: But we grew up seeing that, that women put themselves last.

SPEAKER_1: And then it was like this big revolution in my 30s, my late 30s when I said, oh, hell no, I’m putting myself first.

SPEAKER_1: Because to your point, how can you show up and pour into your children, pour into your partner, pour into work, your church, your community, wherever it is, the world, how can you pour into that, as you so brilliantly said with an empty cup, you can’t.

SPEAKER_1: So, and it’s not selfish. SPEAKER_1: I love that you made that point. SPEAKER_1: It’s not selfish to put yourself first.

SPEAKER_1: It is, in my estimation of things, the most loving thing you can do across your life. SPEAKER_2: So, so beautifully said.

SPEAKER_2: I love that it is one of the most loving things you can do, and I’ll tell you, you know, I remember when I was writing this in the book, I said, I don’t know if anybody’s going to resonate with this, but let me put it in here.

SPEAKER_2: And I said to date yourself, to literally go on a date with yourself and figure out, especially for my mom friends, because I’m not the mom, but for you all who are caring so much for your families and pouring so much into them, I would say things like, well, the kids are going to camp, your husband’s gone, what are you going to do?

SPEAKER_2: You had the day off, what are you going to do? SPEAKER_2: I don’t know.
SPEAKER_2: What would you want to do if you could only do something? SPEAKER_2: I’m talking to coaching clients.

SPEAKER_2: I don’t know.

SPEAKER_1: Yes.

SPEAKER_2: I have no idea, so date yourself and figure out what that would be.

SPEAKER_2: What do I like to eat?

SPEAKER_2: What do I like to do?

SPEAKER_2: What makes my heart smile and sing?

SPEAKER_2: All those things, get to know you.

SPEAKER_2: Then you can also incorporate those things in ways that feel comfortable to you, where you’re giving yourself the time and attention you need and still able to show up for your loved ones.

SPEAKER_2: But it’s possible for those to coexist. SPEAKER_2: We don’t have to do one or the other anymore. SPEAKER_1: No, we don’t.
SPEAKER_1: I actually think it’s essential.

SPEAKER_1: It’s essential.
SPEAKER_1: I love dating yourself.
SPEAKER_1: That’s awesome.
SPEAKER_1: Just take yourself on a little date.
SPEAKER_1: I remember when I was single.
SPEAKER_1: I won’t say I was single.
SPEAKER_1: I was blissfully unaffiliated.
SPEAKER_1: And Valentine’s Day would roll around, and my girlfriends would be all sour about it. SPEAKER_1: Oh, that’s a poopy holiday.
SPEAKER_1: And I mean, I’m not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day.
SPEAKER_1: There’s a whole other story behind that.
SPEAKER_1: But there were several years where I said, what am I going to do for me today? SPEAKER_1: What do I want to do for me today?
SPEAKER_1: And I had amazing days.
SPEAKER_2: Love it.
SPEAKER_2: Yeah.
SPEAKER_1: Took myself right out on a date.
SPEAKER_1: It was great.
SPEAKER_1: I didn’t feel bad sitting on my own or having them remove that second place setting. SPEAKER_1: I was like, nope, I’m here.
SPEAKER_1: I’m enough.
SPEAKER_1: It’s good.
SPEAKER_2: Yes.

SPEAKER_1: It’s all good, right?

SPEAKER_1: So this is a perfect segue into the way that we wrap up this show.

SPEAKER_1: And you know, because you’re She Grabs The Mic listener as well.

SPEAKER_1: Three tips.

SPEAKER_1: What three tips?

SPEAKER_1: We’ve already got one.

SPEAKER_1: Take yourself on a date or date yourself.

SPEAKER_1: I think is what you said.

SPEAKER_1: What three tips would you like to offer women today?

SPEAKER_1: To help them live fiercely with more joy.

SPEAKER_2: The first one is around giving and it’s giving grace to yourself, particularly to yourself.

SPEAKER_2: Giving yourself some compassion and recognizing that progress is amazing.

SPEAKER_2: It does not have to be perfection.

SPEAKER_2: And frankly, I find perfection elusive.

SPEAKER_2: So give yourself grace.

SPEAKER_2: That’s fun.

SPEAKER_1: Beautiful.

SPEAKER_2: Two, give space.

SPEAKER_2: And when I say that, I mean space, not only for yourself to be authentic and show up as the true you, which is inclusive of recognizing and being okay with the fact that no is a complete sentence.

SPEAKER_1: Yes.
SPEAKER_2: But also giving space to others to feel the same way.

SPEAKER_2: Because the more you show up as your true self, the more you’re giving others permission without even realizing it around you to do the same.

SPEAKER_2: So give space.

SPEAKER_2: And then lastly, choose a joyful mindset.

SPEAKER_2: Choose to see joy in the big and small every single day.

SPEAKER_2: You mentioned earlier the importance of gratitude.

SPEAKER_2: I find the easiest way to cultivate that joy is by starting with giving thanks.

SPEAKER_2: Having moments of sitting down and either reflecting or jotting down in your journal or on your phone journal, whatever works for you.

SPEAKER_2: What makes you grateful?

SPEAKER_2: And that will help you choose a more joyful mindset.

SPEAKER_1: Thank you.

SPEAKER_1: Those are beautiful.

SPEAKER_1: And see, everybody, those are free.

SPEAKER_1: No charge required for any of that.

SPEAKER_1: They’re just simple choices, which is how we opened this episode.

SPEAKER_1: It’s talking about the power in the agency that each and every one of us has every single minute in our lives to choose.

SPEAKER_1: And those three tips that you just shared, we call them micro coaching tips here on She Grabs The Mic.

SPEAKER_1: If joy is important to you, these are three beautiful ways, Tash, that you have shared with women to bring that into their lives.

SPEAKER_1: So before we sign off, I would love to know a couple things. SPEAKER_1: Firstly, how can women buy your book?
SPEAKER_1: How can they buy this fabulous book that you have created? SPEAKER_1: Where is the best place for them to do that?

SPEAKER_1: And how can they find you if they would like to have you come in maybe to their organization, community, stage, whatever it is, and speak?

SPEAKER_2: Thank you so much, Cole.

SPEAKER_2: I’d love to share that the book is available on all the online retailers, so including your Amazon, Barnes & Noble, even Target.

SPEAKER_2: I have to say I lost my mind when I showed up on the Target website. SPEAKER_2: So exciting.
SPEAKER_2: Oh my God, I’m at Target.
SPEAKER_2: So go online if you want.

SPEAKER_2: Fiercely Joyful, you can find it online everywhere.
SPEAKER_2: And I would love to hear from folks that read the book and want to share their thoughts.

SPEAKER_2: Certainly, if there are any synergies where I can come in and do a speaking engagement or a workshop, I’d love to talk about that too.

SPEAKER_2: My website is www.fiercelyjoyful.com.

SPEAKER_2: And I’m also on LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_2: So if you can find me on LinkedIn and DM me, that’s another great way to reach out.

SPEAKER_1: Awesome.

SPEAKER_1: And I’ll be sure to put the link for your website, for your book, for your LinkedIn, all in the show notes so that women can find you.

SPEAKER_1: I want to tell you that I am so grateful to know you.

SPEAKER_1: I am beyond grateful for the work that you’re doing in the world and just the way that you are uniquely made to do this work.

SPEAKER_1: I’m so happy that you chose to join us here today on She Grabs The Mic. SPEAKER_1: You’re a huge source of real inspiration and joy.
SPEAKER_1: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
SPEAKER_1: I just love you.

SPEAKER_1: Tash Durkins, you’re amazing.

SPEAKER_2: Thank you. SPEAKER_2: Thank you so much, Cole.

SPEAKER_2: And I am so honored to have had this opportunity with you and even more so to know you as well.

SPEAKER_2: You are the epitome of Be Your Sister’s Keeper.

SPEAKER_2: I just love how you raise us and lift us up so beautifully with this, your voice on the podcast and in your coaching work.

SPEAKER_2: It just brings me joy and inspires me. SPEAKER_2: So thank you.
SPEAKER_1: You’re welcome.
SPEAKER_1: You just made me cry. SPEAKER_1: Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_1: Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_1: All right.
SPEAKER_1: Amazing ones.
SPEAKER_1: Thank you for choosing to lend us your ears today. SPEAKER_1: You are the why for this show.

SPEAKER_1: You are the why for She Grabs The Mic.

SPEAKER_1: If you’re ready to develop a mindset of clarity and confidence that will help you get out of the swirl and live your most kick-ass life, I’d love to meet you.

SPEAKER_1: Head to the contact form on my life coaching website for women, colebakerbagwell.com.

SPEAKER_1: Tell me what’s on your mind and we’ll grab some time to talk about what’s possible for you.

SPEAKER_1: Until we meet again, remember, there’s only one you.
SPEAKER_1: And in case no one’s told you yet today, that’s what makes you amazing.

Powered by TCPDF (www.tcpdf.org)

SPEAKER_1: Big love, I’ll see you next week.

SPEAKER_1: And that’s the end of the show today, everybody.

SPEAKER_1: I hope it has served you well.

SPEAKER_1: Thank you so much for tuning in.

SPEAKER_1: If you’ve liked what you’ve heard, please drop a review wherever you grab your favorite podcast.

SPEAKER_1: Please subscribe so you never miss an episode.
SPEAKER_1: And please be sure to share this podcast with another woman that you love.

SPEAKER_1: If you’d like to learn more about me or my work, check out my website, colebakerbagwell.com.

SPEAKER_1: Until next time, remember to be super kind to yourself and do your very best to leave everyone and everything just a little bit better.

If you’re ready to develop a mindset of confidence and clarity that will help you live your most authentic and kick ass life, I’d love to meet you. Head to my contact form and send me a note. Let’s explore what’s possible for you with mindfulness based life coaching.

Cole Baker-Bagwell

Master Certified Professional Coach

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